| 2:28a |
random crap, why not!
I'm a bit annoyed this evening as I was planning to go to Rotherham tomorrow on my motorbike to watch the play that El's in and take part in the workshops, but the stand on my bike snapped when I got in from work tonight and Dad can't fix it in time for tomorrow 8am so I'm not going. That frees up my day, because I don't have to be at work at Bury for a specific time, and I plan on going to the gym as well as watching someone who I took a course with last week in her job and give her feedback at 4pm. Tomorrow and the weekend should be pretty chilled in comparison to the past couple weeks of juggling jobs. On the whole though, I'm happier with where life seems to be going at the moment. I'm really content with my partner El too, we don't have secrets and it's still refreshing to feel so relaxed about connecting with someone. I really believe in this and it's made a world of difference to how calm I am, getting what I think is the right amount of support and encouragement. I think we look after each other quite well and get a variety of experiences together. I mean, I'm not living in perpetual fear of letting someone down, being dumped, them slashing themselves or having eating disorders, and I find myself thinking 'I'm proud of you' a hell of a lot more than I'm thinking '*rolleyes*' - success!
It's two years since Scidentity and graduation, and I feel much happier in myself. Yeah I can still be a childish immature twat at times when I feel like it, and I hope I always will be, but I'm so much more comfy in dealing with reality. I feel more knowledgeable because of the people I've met in the past couple years, and I realise that many of the people who I had a lot of respect for when I was a teenager really are nothing special. That's kinda disheartening in a way, but I'm finding better people now and realise I was a fool to look up to some of the people I did. My anger has become more witty and tongue-in-cheek with a wink, and me-as-a-14-year-old would be really pleased at the way I've turned out. That'll do Pig, that'll do. |